As we were having breakfast yesterday morning, the news ticked in on both my husband’s phone and my phone about the terror-attack that occurred in a synagogue. Ever since then, the horror of what happened has never been far from my mind. The pictures are awful! The pools of blood in combination with prayer shawls, prayerbooks and tfilin-straps, – the contrasts are just appalling! How can someone enter a sanctuary with a meat-chopper and just start slaughtering people?!? It is so beyond human understanding that we have no words to describe this kind of evil.
At school the children are told not to go around outside by themselves these days. I received an e-mail with pointers as to how we are to cope with this situation of ever heightened security-levels, and we are told to report anything suspicious. They will make the educational institutions even more secure than before, for example.
At the same time, life goes on. Really, it does. There is work to do, homework to help with, laundry to be folded, and floors to be washed. Our son had a friend over, and they had fun playing with the soccer-table. We made pasta for lunch and pancakes for dinner. We are enjoying the cooler winter-temperatures, and turned central heating on for the first time. Yet, at the same time as we have this type of normal day, there are these constant thoughts of the nightmare that some people in our city are going through right now, and how the whole situation also applies to us.
I am not the only one with those types of thoughts, – the children definitely have them too, in spite of playing and all. As they went to bed there were many questions regarding the safety of our home and our neighborhood and so on. And no wonder why. Really. What makes us any safer than the victims in this last wave of terror?
As I put together a pumpkin loaf after the kids went to bed last night, I heard them call out from their beds. – “What was that noise? It wasn’t thunder, was it? It sounded like gunfire.” I started saying that maybe it was just the noise of building, but we all realized that it could not have been that at that time of the day, so I went with the truth that it is probably just people celebrating (with gunfire) in one of the neighboring Arab villages. Not the easiest of truths to live with either, but there could be worse alternatives.
One can be tempted to just close oneself and ones dear ones up inside the house, order groceries online and just not go outside. But if we limit our lives like that, we really hand the terrorists their victory on a silver platter. That is exactly what they want! They want us to be paralyzed with fear. They want us to stop living. And however challenging, – we are not going to give them that victory! We are keeping on living here in our homeland, – and that is victory!
This morning, – the day after, – I kind of woke up with a heavy feeling from yesterday. And I thought I should replace some of the news-updates with Psalms, and I am telling you, – it was like balm to my soul: – especially Psalm 3 spoke straight to my heart:
LORD, how they have increased who trouble me! Many are they who rise up against me.
Mamy are they who say of me, “There is no help for him in God.”
But You, O LORD, are a shield for me, My glory and the One who lifts up my head.
I cried to the LORD with my voice, and He heard me from His holy hill.
I lay down and slept. I awoke, for the LORD sustained me.
I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people who have set themselves against me all around.
Arise, O LORD, Save me, O my God!
For you have struck all my enemies on the cheekbone.
You have broken the teeth of the ungodly.
Salvation belongs to the LORD.
Your blessing is upon Your people.
May we always keep finding strength and perspective from Him who still sits on the throne! He certainly was the One who lifted up my head today. May we all live close to Him, feed on the real source of Life and go around with our heads lifted up!