Disappointed.

I am so disappointed, guys. I know you don’t normally hear me like this, and really, I am normally not like this, but right now I feel like the air has just left the balloon, so to speak.

There has been this great build-up. I have been so focused. It has been so exciting. I have really been looking forward to running a full marathon in Tel Aviv. I have been training for it for four full months. It has been hard at times, but I have kept my eyes on the goal, and kept going.

On one of my many, many training runs.

On one of my many, many training runs.

Then, almost two weeks ago there was the Jerusalem Marathon. I participated in the 10K race with my 9 year old son, and my husband impressed us all with an amazing time at his first full marathon. Ever since then I have felt the butterflies in my stomach, – my own first marathon is coming up…! I have been counting days, – and hours! Really, I have!

done Jerusalem marathon

I have been limiting my sugar, caffein and alcohol to a minimum for the last week or so. Everything for the upcoming marathon. I have dreamt about pacing strategies, and that is no exaggeration. How fast should I start, what finishing time can I realistically aim for, – all those thoughts were constantly spinning around in my head.

On our way to pick up my shirt and number and everything, was the first time I heard about the temperatures expected for race day. 35 degrees Celsius! That is like the heat of summer, hot Israeli summer. Oh, well, I decided to keep a good attitude and just plan on wearing sun screen, a wide brimmed hat and drink lots and lots of water.

Then today, a couple of hours ago, – I hear my marathon is cancelled. Well, they have all kinds of options, but basically that is what it is, cancelled. And let me remind you, – I have trained for this for four whole months!!!

On another training run.

On another training run.

And now I have the option of running a half marathon, which is what I did last year in Jerusalem. But that is not what I trained for, – I was totally wired for a full marathon now… The other option is to run my 42.2 next Friday, but then as in circles in a park, and of course without the whole arrangement of the other races etc. etc. And this is the weekend we were planning on being in Tel Aviv, not next week, a few days before Pesach! We even have a nice hotel room for Shabbat this weekend, a really nice birthday gift from my in-laws. We were going to be there to celebrate that I had done my first full marathon, – what, now we will be there a week before my marathon?!? Or after just having done another half marathon?

And my bumper sticker! My 42.2 marathon club bumper sticker! I was so excited to find that in my bag of goodies when picking up my shirt and number, so looking forward to stick it on the back of our car after finishing the race!! Ahhhhh!!!!

A bummer! Such a bummer!

Sorry for taking it all out on you guys! But I just have to get it out. Ah… I am sooo disappointed!

Of course they have a very good reason for canceling the 42.2 this Friday, it was the ministry of health that did not recommend keeping it. And of course none of us want to risk our health. Would have been a memorable race, huh? The one were hundreds fainted and had to be brought to the emergency room… No, they probably did the right thing in canceling it. That is what I try to tell myself right now anyway.

On yet another training run...

On yet another training run…

And I, – I have to use this as a good learning situation. Learn to handle disappointment. Learn to cope with things not turning out the way I expected it to, or wanted it to. And then to do the right thing in the midst of it.

In Hebrew, or I guess in Jewish tradition, we have this saying – hakol le tova, – meaning, everything is for good, it all serves a purpose, kind of. And that is what I am telling myself now. Even though I do not understand why this came about the way it did, it must be for the good, for something good, somehow.

Our lives, our days, our plans, everything is in God’s Hands. He has the full control, and we just have to trust Him. Somehow that makes it easier for me to cope with situations where I feel like I have no control, – and I guess, I sort of wish I would have had just a little bit of control. Well, at least I know the one who holds it all in His Hands, – and I know He wants only the best for us, always.

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32 thoughts on “Disappointed.

  1. Awwwwe, I can sense your disappointment yet, what a great lesson plan! You are right, He only wants what’s best for us! Meanwhile, you keep on running!

  2. Evy says:

    ÅÅÅ nei! Såå drit! Fatte at du e veldig skuffa med tanke på kor fokusert og innstilt du har vært på dette! Føle med deg.. Du må ikkje gi opp løping hvertfall 🙂

    • Te'ena says:

      Takk for medfølelsen, Evy! Eg seie te meg sjøl at eg må jo ha perspektiv, de kunne jo vært så møje verre. De va bare at eg va så “totalt innstilt på flesk og duppe nå!!”. Uansett, – eg fortsette å springa, de e de ingen tvil om! 🙂

  3. Hadassah says:

    I am in shock for you…. wow…. praying here..

    • Te'ena says:

      Thank you, Hadassah. I am gaining more perspective, it could have been worse of course. Just had to get the disappointment out and expressed. 🙂

  4. Jon Håkon says:

    Du må utvilsomt gå for den maratonen neste fredag – då får du jaffal hengt opp klistermerke ditt! Uansett va jo denne pysemaratonen på flatmark bare ein langsiktig oppladning t den skikkelige maratonen i bakkene i Jerusalem om ca ett år. Her gjelle d å tenke langsiktig 😉

    • Te'ena says:

      Ellers fant eg akkurat ut at om någen veker ska de vær ein ultramaraton fra Jerusalem te Tel Aviv. 60 kilometer. Men de må jo vær ganske møje nerøve, då… 🙂
      Og, jada, eg tenke langsiktig, eg komme te å springa mine 42.2 ein gong. Men i og med at eg liksom ska te Tel Aviv på fredag uansett, så tenke eg at de blir vanskeligt å IKKJE springa iallefall ein halv-maraton… Så får eg heller se ka eg gjer neste vega…

  5. Cathrine Pedersen says:

    Takk, Kristine! Siste delen av innlegget ditt gjekk rett heim idag, akkurat dei orda eg trengte idag. Han har kontrollen, han veit alt, han ser alt, hans vilje skje på jorda, også når me ikkje forstår. Igjen takk…!

  6. Erin Sperger says:

    So, so sorry, Te’ena!!! Man makes his plans, but the Lord directs his steps. Doesn’t take the disappointment away, but does keep our focus. Also, it’s a very good teaching tool with the kids. There will be a time and there will be a place for all of your hard work. Be encouraged and know how much everything you share is so sweet and such a blessing to so many of us women. Hugs to you!!!!

    • Te'ena says:

      Thank you for your compassion and your sweet and encouraging comment, Erin! I feel much better now that I have been able to re-adjust my expectations a bit. Blessings to you and yours!

  7. hollykaann says:

    I am so sorry for you. Of course if it were me, I would be glad I did not have to run that far! 🙂 I am not the runner you are, but good for you.

    • Te'ena says:

      Thank you for your comment! And hehe, yes, a few years ago I would have been of the same opinion as I have only gotten into long distance running in the last couple of years. 🙂

  8. Franziska says:

    I am so sorry for you and I can understand your disappointment very well !! But I am also touched by yourtrying and will to understand and knowing that everything is for something good: Romans 8,28 !

  9. Så tråkigt! Känner med dig. Har läst din blogg hela tiden 🙂 Hjälper mig att se livet här nere. (midge visade mig din blogg om du kommer ihåg. Vi är en norsk/svensk familj som bor här i Israel till 11 mai, Armenska kvarteret i Gamlebyen.)
    Jag är imponerad över dina mål. (själv är jag inte så i toppform desverre). Men en dag kommer du springa! Hoppas du kan njuta av Tel Aviv turen ändå!!
    Ni har säkert mycket att göra, men kanske om ni har tid kan vi träffas?! Mina barn pratar norska och skulle nog tycka det vore kul att träffa barn som talar samma språk.. Benjamin 12, Hanna 10 och Linnéa7.
    Lycka till med vad för marathonvariant du än väljer!
    Hilsen Anna-Lena

  10. Aw man!!! That must be so frustrating! Although you’re pretty used to it (obviously).. you get to train in one of the most beautiful places on earth! I’m so jealous and wish my training was in Israel!!

  11. Bummer!!! I don’t understand why they cancelled. What does the ministry of health have to do with it?

  12. That IS a huge disappointment! What a blow, considering all your effor and hard work. Also congratulations on your excellent training and preparation. You must be feeling SO fit and healthy right now. And I have to add – what a beautiful and interesting areas you run through. Keep us updated on your next marathon plans!

    • Te'ena says:

      Hi there! Thank you for your compassion. And, yes, I have never been in better shape, which is kind of nice to be able to say at age 37! 🙂

  13. Janne says:

    Såååå fortvila!!!! 😦 Eg har hatt så vondt av deg! Blei informert av Anne, men har ikkje fått vore innpå siå di å kommentert før nå. Snakk om skuffelse! Men du imponere både i trening, og i d å tenka positivt i negative situasjonar..!! Du e GO!!! Trøsteklem fra meg 😉

    • Te'ena says:

      Takk for trøsteklemmen, Janne! Og, ja, eg føle meg møje bedre nå. Fekk fort meir perspektiv, – hallo, de e bare snakk om ein maraton! – og te slutt hadde eg de kjekt me 10 kilometeren min, og va i grunnen gla eg ikkje sko springa 42.2 i den varmen. 😉 Eg gire meg opp for å springa mine 42.2 nå på fredag, men eg hørre di har meldt ei ny lignanne hetebølga, så me får se ka så blir te slutt… Uansett, denne gongen e eg forberedt, å har ein reserveplan på lager allerede…
      Snakkes! 🙂

  14. […] were talking about that they kind of wished the marathon would be cancelled. I did not agree. The first marathon I trained for, was cancelled, and it was VERY […]

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