I get the kids ready and off to school in the morning, and try to get at least some work done before preparing comfort food for lunch. I spend cozy afternoons with the children; our favorite snacks, candles, lots of hugging and just being together, – all while my heart is somewhere along the border of Gaza…
My heart is there with one of the soldiers there, a.k.a. The Love Of My Life. Along with tens of thousands of other soldiers he rushed and hurried up, just to get there and have more time to wait. They are ready at the border, and will go in as soon as they get the green light from our government. And every time I check a news update, there seems to be a different opinion on the matter. – We are close to a cease fire. – They are shooting, we are shooting, they are not interested in peace. And so on.
I notice that I am not the only one who is with abba in my thoughts pretty constantly. As I was reading the kids a sweet Hanukkah-story the other night, my son interrupted and asked a question about some Hamas-activity, which of course had nothing to do with the story we were reading… And I watch him play war games with himself, where he is totally destroying Hamas… Our daughter is not as clearly expressing how the whole thing is affecting her, – but one can see it through how her various body-aches are eased by hugging, showing that the source of these physical pains may really be emotional unrest.
As they go to bed, we pray for abba, for our soldiers, for our leaders, our people and our country. We go to sleep with the Hebrew song Hineh lo yanum ve lo yishan Shomer Yisrael sung over and over in our heads. – He that keepeth Israel neither slumbers nor sleeps.
And I return to all my screens, never have I been so glued to my computer, I Phone and TV! I watch the soldiers out there, searching for my soldier among them. I listen to the updates and try to understand how it all influences everything. There is a lot of rockets, – does that mean we are just before the end and finishing up, or that it is all just being escalated to yet another level?? There is uncertainty in the air. A decision needs to be made. And we continue to pray for faith, courage and great wisdom for those who have to make that decision!